When Living in a Masquerade

I unloaded some off-the-cuff thoughts onto my instagram story late last night and from the amount of direct messages I received in response, I figured it might be useful to articulate my thoughts into one easy to find place. This led to me finding the Blog that I started in 2011 and it was fun to go back and read the few posts I made years ago.

Let’s Talk About Masks.

We are truly witnessing an incredible sociology experiment in real time as we participate in a balancing act between expressing authentic individuality and social conscientiousness. When I consider which human instincts are most notably shaping the experience we are having right now, this is the list that emerges:

1. The aversion to feeling shame = “I don’t want to be thought of as selfish, arrogant, or insensitive”

2. The desire to operate according to dictates of my own conscience = I feel peaceful and ethical when my behavior is aligned with my personal beliefs. 

3. The Desire for convenience = I just want some chipotle, and this mask thing isn’t the hill I choose to die on)

4. The desire to protect others feelings = I don’t want you to feel awkward because you are wearing a mask and you think I am judging you for doing so.

5. The desire to show support/respect for leaders of your church congregation who may feel that against their will they have landed in a position to at some level enforce guidelines they may not personally agree with. = Hey bishop (fun fact, not the case with my current bishop haha) I know you feel that this stuff has gone too far and is now a distraction, but just to make things feel a little less weird for you I will be a good boy and wear my mask at all times.

With these comments as a back-drop, let me now share with you what my OVERWHELMING FEELING IS RIGHT NOW…

Where else in our lives might the consequences of this “this doesn’t feel right to me but I will just go along with it, it’s not that big of a  deal” attitude show up?

(think long term)

How powerfully do we lead our kids when they see us elevate convenience and comfort above being true to convictions?

Let me draw a very clear distinction between two types of scenarios.

Scenario 1 - Wearing an N95 mask during your visit to great-grandma at the nursing home because neither of you have been either vaccinated or naturally immunized against COVID-19. 

[I am using my own mind to make a choice that to me appears to produce a “net-positive” result]

Scenario 2 - Me. Last night. Using my workout headband to somewhat cover my mouth as I rush in to grab a gallon of milk from Costco without getting too many judging looks or being asked to leave. 

[While I am still using my agency, I am using it to participate in a charade just to satisfy my emotional instinct to avoid shame, and enjoy some convenience.]

For some additional context, I will turn myself in as being someone has erred on the side of the spectrum labeled “absolute minimum mask compliance required to not overly inconvenience my day to day, and just enough non-compliance as to attempt to maintain even a minuscule sense of identity as an individual with his own brain.”

This has been my position ever since it became abundantly clear to me - and any honest person who reads credible material outside of what is produced by MSM - that the cheap cloth and paper masks being worn by healthy people are doing virtually* nothing to save lives, but instead are part of a virtuous charade.

To explain the asterisk I put on the above sentence, I will say that it seems clear to me that whatever kind of cloth I am wearing that blocks some large nasty sneeze-juice from flying from my nose into your elderly grandmothers unmasked esophagus, has SOME utility. (Sorry about that sentence)

Hear me: 

We could all decide that everyone must now wear helmets while they drive their car. Race car drivers do it. It would save more than one life. And who doesn’t care about life?

This is the part where we remind ourselves that EVERY decision you or I make today is in some way a TRADE-OFF in pursuit of a “Net Positive” result.

When does something that holds SOME theoretical utility - in an ever shrinking likelihood of scenarios - become a more obvious “net negative” on the QUALITY of life?

I am talking as a dad who drops off two beautiful kids at school each day to be masked for 6 hours, then picks them up and tries to suppress the glaring cognitive dissonance caused by my passive participation in the ease of letting others do the thinking for us.

Yeah the teachers are vaccinated or immune, and yeah it is undeniably clear that kids are less at risk from Covid than the common flu, and yeah it feels dishonest and immoral and this point…. But COME ON that homeschool thing was rough right?! Ain’t nobody got time for that! So wrap up your smiles in this cloth diaper and I'll see you in 6 hours you sad little coronial generation! But don’t forget who you are! We think for ourselves in this family and follow our heart! Please excuse me while I go watch people at church give a talk at the pulpit WITH a mask on and pretend this isn’t some crazy dream!

I got a little off message there. (note: It is bordering on the impossible to discuss matters we are passionate about without our ego getting a hold of the microphone).

Again, I understand and appreciate the fact that trade-offs are to be made in order to lubricate the function of a large society full of diverse beliefs, types of conditioning etc. This is true whether there is a pandemic or not. There is a spectrum between individual desires and social conscientiousness.

AND

I am grateful beyond words to live in the time we live. Grateful beyond words to have healthy kids, who get to go to school, with teachers they like, that we can go to church in-person, and hey…. At the end of the day wearing a mask isn’t THAT terrible.

BUT

What is literally keeping me up late at night is not the mask. It is thinking about who I am being. Am I conditioning myself and my kids right now in a way that will have unpleasant consequences 10 years from now? Am I awake to the fact that they get ONE childhood? That they are THIS impressionable, teachable and living under my roof this during ONE period of time in their lives?

When masks are a distant memory (spoken like an optimist)... what will I have taught my children about being an independent thinker who has the courage to ACT rather than just be ACTED UPON? What will I have taught them about doing what they believe is right and what creates a NET POSITIVE result for them and those around them? What will I have taught them about embracing the inherent risk and unknowns in life and loving them as part of what makes being alive so visceral and rich? 

I pray that the sum total of my efforts as a parent, if nothing else, produce children who dare to think with their own God given mind.

And as trite as it sounds - Smiles are contagious too. :)