When Living in a Masquerade

I unloaded some off-the-cuff thoughts onto my instagram story late last night and from the amount of direct messages I received in response, I figured it might be useful to articulate my thoughts into one easy to find place. This led to me finding the Blog that I started in 2011 and it was fun to go back and read the few posts I made years ago.

Let’s Talk About Masks.

We are truly witnessing an incredible sociology experiment in real time as we participate in a balancing act between expressing authentic individuality and social conscientiousness. When I consider which human instincts are most notably shaping the experience we are having right now, this is the list that emerges:

1. The aversion to feeling shame = “I don’t want to be thought of as selfish, arrogant, or insensitive”

2. The desire to operate according to dictates of my own conscience = I feel peaceful and ethical when my behavior is aligned with my personal beliefs. 

3. The Desire for convenience = I just want some chipotle, and this mask thing isn’t the hill I choose to die on)

4. The desire to protect others feelings = I don’t want you to feel awkward because you are wearing a mask and you think I am judging you for doing so.

5. The desire to show support/respect for leaders of your church congregation who may feel that against their will they have landed in a position to at some level enforce guidelines they may not personally agree with. = Hey bishop (fun fact, not the case with my current bishop haha) I know you feel that this stuff has gone too far and is now a distraction, but just to make things feel a little less weird for you I will be a good boy and wear my mask at all times.

With these comments as a back-drop, let me now share with you what my OVERWHELMING FEELING IS RIGHT NOW…

Where else in our lives might the consequences of this “this doesn’t feel right to me but I will just go along with it, it’s not that big of a  deal” attitude show up?

(think long term)

How powerfully do we lead our kids when they see us elevate convenience and comfort above being true to convictions?

Let me draw a very clear distinction between two types of scenarios.

Scenario 1 - Wearing an N95 mask during your visit to great-grandma at the nursing home because neither of you have been either vaccinated or naturally immunized against COVID-19. 

[I am using my own mind to make a choice that to me appears to produce a “net-positive” result]

Scenario 2 - Me. Last night. Using my workout headband to somewhat cover my mouth as I rush in to grab a gallon of milk from Costco without getting too many judging looks or being asked to leave. 

[While I am still using my agency, I am using it to participate in a charade just to satisfy my emotional instinct to avoid shame, and enjoy some convenience.]

For some additional context, I will turn myself in as being someone has erred on the side of the spectrum labeled “absolute minimum mask compliance required to not overly inconvenience my day to day, and just enough non-compliance as to attempt to maintain even a minuscule sense of identity as an individual with his own brain.”

This has been my position ever since it became abundantly clear to me - and any honest person who reads credible material outside of what is produced by MSM - that the cheap cloth and paper masks being worn by healthy people are doing virtually* nothing to save lives, but instead are part of a virtuous charade.

To explain the asterisk I put on the above sentence, I will say that it seems clear to me that whatever kind of cloth I am wearing that blocks some large nasty sneeze-juice from flying from my nose into your elderly grandmothers unmasked esophagus, has SOME utility. (Sorry about that sentence)

Hear me: 

We could all decide that everyone must now wear helmets while they drive their car. Race car drivers do it. It would save more than one life. And who doesn’t care about life?

This is the part where we remind ourselves that EVERY decision you or I make today is in some way a TRADE-OFF in pursuit of a “Net Positive” result.

When does something that holds SOME theoretical utility - in an ever shrinking likelihood of scenarios - become a more obvious “net negative” on the QUALITY of life?

I am talking as a dad who drops off two beautiful kids at school each day to be masked for 6 hours, then picks them up and tries to suppress the glaring cognitive dissonance caused by my passive participation in the ease of letting others do the thinking for us.

Yeah the teachers are vaccinated or immune, and yeah it is undeniably clear that kids are less at risk from Covid than the common flu, and yeah it feels dishonest and immoral and this point…. But COME ON that homeschool thing was rough right?! Ain’t nobody got time for that! So wrap up your smiles in this cloth diaper and I'll see you in 6 hours you sad little coronial generation! But don’t forget who you are! We think for ourselves in this family and follow our heart! Please excuse me while I go watch people at church give a talk at the pulpit WITH a mask on and pretend this isn’t some crazy dream!

I got a little off message there. (note: It is bordering on the impossible to discuss matters we are passionate about without our ego getting a hold of the microphone).

Again, I understand and appreciate the fact that trade-offs are to be made in order to lubricate the function of a large society full of diverse beliefs, types of conditioning etc. This is true whether there is a pandemic or not. There is a spectrum between individual desires and social conscientiousness.

AND

I am grateful beyond words to live in the time we live. Grateful beyond words to have healthy kids, who get to go to school, with teachers they like, that we can go to church in-person, and hey…. At the end of the day wearing a mask isn’t THAT terrible.

BUT

What is literally keeping me up late at night is not the mask. It is thinking about who I am being. Am I conditioning myself and my kids right now in a way that will have unpleasant consequences 10 years from now? Am I awake to the fact that they get ONE childhood? That they are THIS impressionable, teachable and living under my roof this during ONE period of time in their lives?

When masks are a distant memory (spoken like an optimist)... what will I have taught my children about being an independent thinker who has the courage to ACT rather than just be ACTED UPON? What will I have taught them about doing what they believe is right and what creates a NET POSITIVE result for them and those around them? What will I have taught them about embracing the inherent risk and unknowns in life and loving them as part of what makes being alive so visceral and rich? 

I pray that the sum total of my efforts as a parent, if nothing else, produce children who dare to think with their own God given mind.

And as trite as it sounds - Smiles are contagious too. :)

Look and Live! What to do with Snake Bites.

March 22 2016

After some considerable complaining against God as well as their prophet Moses, the children of Israel experienced a very peculiar consequence. Numbers 21 says "And the Lord sent fiery (poisonous) serpents among the people, and they bit the people, ; and much people of Israel died."

The first question that comes to my mind when I read this is: Why would the Lord allow these serpents to actually kill many of his people? If the point of this experience was to humble His people and provide a means for them to be healed through the Atonement of Christ, wouldn't they all have just been wounded? I think the right question to ask here is this: Is it sometimes an act of mercy, when the Lord takes the life of his people? (Think of the great flood of Noah's day). I think we should remember that God is merciful. God loves his children. His work and his glory is to "bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man."(Moses 1:39) So maybe he allows of some of his children to die sometimes based on factors of timing, and their personal state of righteousness. Perhaps the Children of Israel that died, were in a good place spiritually aside from having just fallen into a trap of sinful complaining. Maybe the mercy in allowing some to depart mortal life was to protect them from further sinning that would lead them to a hardness of heart from which they would almost certainly never be rescued. The scriptures talk about people getting to a point where they are "past feeling"(1 Ne 17:45). Sometimes to those who are hardened to a point of "past feeling" the Lord speaks with a "voice of thunder" like it says in that same verse I cited.
     
The fascinating part of this story for me has to deal with those people that didn't die from the snake bites, but that were severely wounded. The Lord prepared an antidote for the very wounds caused by the snakes that He sent. Why would the lord put His children in a situation where they were exposed to pain and death, only to provide a healing agent for that same affliction? (Think Adam and Eve). The answer to this question embodies the 'why' of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

When the Son of God performed the "infinite and eternal" sacrifice (Alma 34:14) He provided not only a bridge over the chasms of sin and death, which otherwise would forever block man from returning to God's presence, but also a way for man to have his heart purified (Mosiah 4:2). The restored Gospel of Jesus Christ in the latter-days, has helped us understand more fully that God wants more from us than just a one-time verbal acceptance of His gift. We are here to
"apply the atoning blood of Christ" that we might be purified or changed. It is this transformation from a fallen nature to a nature like that of God's that will allow us to one day return to God and "see Him as He is, for we shall be like Him." (Moroni 7:48)

For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father. Mosiah 3:19

To go back to the story of the snakes... This story is obviously symbolic of the experience that all of us can have with the Atonement of Christ. As result of our own disobedience, or maybe the poor choices of others (were all that got bitten part of the group that was complaining in the wilderness?) we are wounded. Instead of just prevent the wound from happening, the Lord instead prompts us to look to the serpent of the staff which is a symbol for Christ to be healed because it is through that "application" of the power of the atonement that we experience a gradual change in our nature. Our eventual exaltation comes not just from a reversal of our wounds but through the actual process of the healing. I like to think of it like we are drinking from the cup of Christ's mercy, and after drinking from this cup over a lifetime of repentance and "applying the blood of Christ" we will have absorbed his very attributes and his likeness. This is what Christ wants for us.

I am grateful for the snake bites in my life, because they have forced me to my knees and given me a heightened awareness of my need for the serpent on the staff. I am disappointed that many times I have been guilty as were some of the Israelites that wouldn't look and live "because of the simpleness of the way" (1 Ne 17:41).

I believe that it is God's plan for there to always be serpents in our life that drive us to need the regular application of the healing AND transforming balm of Jesus. Hopefully the serpents that exist as a result of our personal sins, will shrink in size over time as we progress. I imagine that those serpents in the lives of men like the apostles are probably the size of a mosquito, but they still cause them to need to repent and drink from the merciful cup.






   

Making Your Lock Screen Productive

January 21 2016

I have always admired people that seem to have a trove of quotes and scriptures stored in their mind, with the ability to retrieve them from memory at just the right moment.

I wanted to share a tip that has helped me in my desire to memorize more worthwhile quotes...

There is an app called "wallpaper maker". It is an easy way to save any quote directly to your lock screen on your phone, where you will see it several times a day.

On my mission I used to carry a 3x5 notecard in my front shirt pocket everywhere I went. On the card was written whatever scripture or quote I was trying to memorize that week. I have often thought back to that and wanted to do the same thing, but couldn't justify carrying around an actual notecard, that would definitely get beat up in my pocket, and likely just left somewhere by accident. I was happy to find that this way of doing it with my lock screen works really well.

The Miracle Morning Day #1

January 1 2016

     "Your level of success will seldom exceed your level of personal development, because success is something you attract by the person you become." Jim Rohn


As I was thinking about my vision for 2016, I was fortunate to come across this quote in one of the Audiobooks I was listening to. It is impactful to me, to think that instead of focusing only on metrics of "success" that I want to achieve, I should be thinking more about how I will better myself this year that I might attract success naturally.

I am a firm believer that the law of attraction is always in force. A couple days ago I was in a meeting at work when one of the guys I work with mentioned that The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod had been "life Changing." I bought the audiobook on the spot and have been listening to it since. No doubt it was the law of attraction that can be thanked for me being in that room, working with those people, which put in me a position to hear that recommendation. I can tell that the message of this book is the thing I was looking for to jumpstart my personal development in 2016.

This morning I woke up a little before 5:30 AM. I have had an awesome morning so far. The first thing Hal Elrod recommends is that you get up and walk straight to the bathroom to wash your teeth and splash your face with water. Next, you are supposed to drink a full glass of water. After that I got dressed in my gym clothes, spent some time praying and meditating, then went downstairs to study.

One of the best things I experience of my LDS mission was creating the habit of morning study. It is unfortunate that I have allowed periods of time after my mission to pass where my studies have been few. This morning I loved having plenty of time free of distractions to read the Book of Mormon, listen to some conference talks as I made breakfast, and read one of the many personal development books I am getting through - Broadcasting Happiness.

I'm headed to an Orange Theory fitness class at 7:15. Usually I am stumbling out of bed just in time to barely made it to the gym on-time. Today I have had two hours to feel completely awake, fed, and motivated.

In 2016 I am committed to becoming a better version of myself, so that I might add more value to my family and friends, and attract higher levels of success into my life!

Happy New Year

High Performance. Cars. Athletes. Moms. Dads.

Like many people, I have always been fascinated by anything that involves high-performance. I spend more time than I should watching YouTube reviews of the latest high-end cars being brought to market by different companies, because it is exciting to see people push the limits of what used to be impossible. Professional Sports in the US alone is a 23.5 billion dollar industry... Which says a lot about how much we love to watch high performance for entertainment.

I have a friend named Casey Baugh that drives a very high-end AMG Mercedes. He admits that he hardly ever does anything else in the car but drive an average speed to work and back. He loves however the fact that the car is CAPABLE of racetrack performance at a moments notice if we wants to punch the pedal. 

We love high perfomance so much that we will pay more than we should for a car, we will pay high prices to watch OTHER people play physical games at an elite level, but what emphasis do we place on achieving high performance in our personal life?

I am energized by the thought that I can aspire to reach elite levels of performance in EVERY aspect of my life, not just the ones that might most commonly be considered. I want to have a high performing marriage, a HP relationship with my kids, a HP attitude about physical fitness and about my role in my church, I want nothing less than HP habits in my profession of direct sales and managing sales teams.

I think oftentimes we find ourselves wanting do to different things than the things we routinely do in order to feel more of a sense of fulfillment and growth. While we should always be ambitious and willing to stretch ourselves with new endeavors, I am reminded of something I was taught by Craig Manning -an awesome coach and author of "The Fearless Mind"- We can get excited about achieving the highest levels of performance in our current responsibilities. In these season of life maybe you are largely occupied with being a husband/father wife/mother, student, employee, and you are looking 'out the window' at the next season of life with some anticipation. Consider that new stimulation can arise within the same things we are doing so often, when we look for the areas we can elevate our performance to an elite level.

It is an interesting challenge to ask yourself questions like..."What does HIGH PERFORMANCE look like in serving in my church calling?" or "What is HIGH PERFORMANCE in my role as a dad to two little kids that can't even talk yet?"

Setting Appropriate Goals

In Craig Manning's book, he talks about being task-oriented vs. Ego-oriented... the summation of this concept is that when we set goals for ourselves that are too big and broad, we feel a lessened sense of control, which leads to high anxiety, which leads to doubt, and ultimately poor decision making. Instead, if we can set goals that are "just beyond our reach" and then make clear and very specific action items on how we will attain the goal, we will feel a greater sense of control, and lower anxiety.

As we approach the end of the year I get excited because it is time to reflect on the goals that were set at the beginning of 2014, and to now write down goals for 2015.

"Potential plus training, minus interference, equals high performance." 
Dr.Craig Manning 

"Excellence is mundane. It is achieved through an increase in quality of the little things we do each day." Dr. Craig Manning

"The Key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities." Stephen Covey

Marriage- Building Our Eternity

Today is the second anniversary of my marriage to my wife Abbie. Just thinking about how fast the time seems to have gone, hints that before I know it we are going to be looking back on decades of marriage and see the marriages of our kids and grandkids.

It can be a hard thing to ask yourself what kind of spouse you really are. If the spirit is present I think that several areas of needed improvement can be quickly illuminated in the mind. My perspective of marriage is like that of a builder, constructing a large beautiful home. Instead of reviewing the past time of my marriage to see if it is "holding up", I feel instead like I am looking to see how far we have come in the construction of a solid foundation that will shoulder our future, our eternal future.

It is apparent to me that the sturdiness of the foundation we are laying in every way will affect the lives of our children and children's children.  The same way that sloppiness in the details of building construction will inevitably lead to problems both in appearance and function of the building, the same is true with unchecked moments of rudeness and selfishness in marriage.

"Serious marital difficulties often begin in seemingly minor ways. Fleeting moments of rudeness, unrepented of, may become more frequent. Poor communication may allow spouses to drift apart. Unresolved frustrations can heat up until they boil into anger and even abuse Nurturing a Love That Lasts -Liahona 2000."

The higher law taught by The Savior tells us that it is not enough to just go avoid carrying out acts of rudeness, selfishness, or immorality but we are charged to "Suffer none of these things to enter into [our] heart 3 Nephi 12:29."

I am a proponent of marriage, especially Christ-Centered Marriage. I believe in redemption, forgiveness, and mercy. These are things that no marriage can last long with out. At least not in a form that will endure the test of time, let alone eternity. But then again marriage is supposed to be a lot more than enduring. A marriage should be the most rich, refining, exalting union we experience on this earth. A marriage is supposed to be as much about our relationship with Christ as it is with our husband or wife. A true marriage can bear the deepest pain and sense the most ecstatic joy. 

I am committed to my covenant to be fiercely loyal to my sweetheart. I am so thankful.

The Light of Christ VS The Holy Ghost

The Holy Ghost is a personage of spirit and a member of the Godhead. Elder Joseph Fielding Smith taught that “the Holy Ghost should not be confused with the Spirit [the Light of Christ] which fills the immensity of space and which is everywhere present. This other Spirit is impersonal and has no size, nor dimensions; it proceeds forth from the presence of the Father and the Son and is in all things. We should speak of the Holy Ghost as a personage as ‘he’ and this other Spirit as ‘it,’ although when we speak of the power or gift of the Holy Ghost we may properly say ‘it.’” ¹Brent Bulloch, instructor at the Tempe Institute of Religion adjacent to Arizona State University.

The more I learn about the Light of Christ, the more I understand where the writers of the Nicean creed got their definition of God. The commonly accepted description of God, more accurately hits the definition of the Light of Christ.